


Reflections of a Guardian

by ColdFront



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:40:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22169539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdFront/pseuds/ColdFront
Summary: Kyubey looks back on two magical girls, and one girl who never became one.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	Reflections of a Guardian

Kyubey watched Tomoe Mami die, and it reminded him of a day long past.

It was strange. Mami wasn't much like Hikari. Hikari had been afraid when the day came. She had sensed what was coming, her inevitable transformation, and asked him if he could do anything to stop it. He was genuinely perplexed by the request. Why whould a Magical Girl, propelled to the height of her glory by the fulfillment her heart's true desire, fear the ultimate symmetry of experiencing life as her opposite? Why should she shy away from crossing the barrier, that singular moment where she burned like a miniature sun that only Kyubey could see, before falling at the hands of one of her successors?

Kyubey had explained that to Hikari, and she had broken his neck for his effort. He kept quiet about the subject after that, both with Hikari and the line of girls that came after her, vessels for a power that Kyubey could never quite understand or share. Losing a form wasn't a pleasant experience.

Something changed in Hikari, after that. Her efforts became sullen, somehow, almost reckless. Once Kyubey had observed joy in her hunt; it was replaced by a somber ritualism. He felt certain that Hikari was approaching the line, that her soul gem would soon blacken and warp, but Hikari pulled back every time. Perhaps, he thought, she had a hidden source of happiness in her life, something keeping her away from the edge even as the costs piled up around her. He had accompanied her as she fought one of the greatest witches of her time, Mila. For the first time in a long while, her movements in battle were strong and sure, and her expression radiated an emotion Kyubey could only guess. Happiness? Pride? And, as Mila began to tear her apart, Hikari had turned to Kyubey and smiled peacefully.

Mami didn't smile. Understandable, under the circumstances. Her last motions in battle, though, were those of a girl finding a reason to keep going.

Perhaps she was more like Hikari than Kyubey had believed.

* * *

Sayaka gave up her life, and her soul, for one of the most minor miracles Kyubey could conceive of. Re-growth of nerve connections and muscle tissue, little more, in exchange for a life freely given. Even a weaker girl like Sayaka would repay the gift a thousandfold when her despair consumed her, assuming she didn't die first. Most Magical Girls didn't. Kyubey didn't offer the contract to those who weren't driven to survive.

Darya had made a similar choice, a long time ago.

Her father had lost the ability to move his legs, a byproduct of shrapnel perforation in one of those human wars. He was alive, though, and shared a little hut by the river with Darya. He would stare at the water and tell her stories about the way things had been in the old days. Darya would look at him pityingly, and go back to town to work to support them both. Kyubey saw in her, from the start, the strength and dedication that made a Magical Girl shine bright. Darya saw a demon in Kyubey - but knew bargains could be made with demons. She asked a question most didn't think to ask.

"What's the true cost?"

Kyubey paused, thinking. He would not lie to the humans; dishonesty signified disrespect, and worse, ungratitude.

"Death and despair."

Darya nodded, unsurprised. "I can bear it."

And she did. Even as her father took his first, halting steps, Darya took up the art and the science of witch-hunting. She showed no fear in battle, nor regret for her choice.

Kyubey never heard a word of complaint from her. He hoped, on some level, that Sayaka would bear her chosen load with the same purity.

* * *

Even after Kyubey explained the cost and the reason, Madoka had rejected him. Perhaps she feared the price. Perhaps he crossed a previously unknown human taboo in his explanation. It still happened, even after he and his kind had worked in symbiosis with the humans for thousands of years, and had seen them grow up generation by generation. Their capacity to surprise him in new ways never failed.

Rejection, though? That was fairly novel. Long pauses for thought, careful pondering of wishes... these things happened. Ultimately, though, the humans all wanted the trade he could offer them. Their heart's desire today, for a vague despair tomorrow.

It had happened before, once, thousands of years before. The girl's name was Sabinia, and she had been running with her lover and her child from her owner in a villa near a city of seven hills. She hadn't noticed the little white shadow that followed her every step. Kyubey kept to the undergrowth, and waited - sooner or later, she would want something unattainable, and he would provide. The contract would be made, Sabinia's miracle would triumph over entropy, and the world would live a little longer.

Kyubey perked his head up at the sound of a scream. The toddler had waded into the rushing waters of the river where the little family had camped, and Sabinia's lover was attempting to wade after him but increasingly finding himself being swept away too. A few minutes later, it was all over, and Kyubey presented himself and his proposal to the sobbing girl at the water's edge.

"My name is Kyubey, and I can grant you one wish."

"Any wish I want? I could- I could bring them back?"

"Of course."

She stared at him as if she had seen a strange and disturbing omen, then gazed back at the water. "And what would I have to do for you, Kyubey?"

"You would need to fight dangerous creatures, Witches. Forever, until death."

"Ah. So I'd be a slave again. To you, this time."

Kyubey pondered that. "Strictly speaking, since it's an agreed contract, it would be more like an indenture."

"No." He had never heard that before, and his ears twitched. "I'm not going to try to cheat death - not even for Iunius - if it means going back to fighting someone else's battle for them."

She stood, inclined her head toward the river, and whispered a few words Kyubey couldn't hear. "I'm not afraid anymore," she said, turning her back to him, and walked away.

Kyubey never saw her again - but he remembered.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this strange stream of consciousness.


End file.
